On Cognitive Dissonance and Conflicting Truths
Why we feel the need to resolve conflict between two beliefs in our minds, and how we might find a third way
Your Contradictions Are a Hidden Strength
Recently, a friend was venting about his job. He felt trapped, frustrated that his role didn’t allow him to focus on his strengths. “I’m great at product strategy,” he said, “but the founders keep asking me to do IC engineering work.” As we talked, it became clear he was overlooking something important. He was so determined to focus solely on product strategy that he refused to acknowledge how good he was at engineering too. The founders valued his engineering talent, but he had convinced himself he couldn’t be great at both things simultaneously.
This conversation made me think deeply about cognitive dissonance—the mental discomfort we feel when we hold two conflicting beliefs at once. Our instinctive reaction to dissonance is to eliminate it. We rationalize, justify, or ignore inconvenient truths just to reclaim internal harmony.
But what if our contradictions aren’t problems to fix, but hidden strengths to harness?
The Origin of Cognitive Dissonance
This concept goes back to the 1950s when psychologist Leon Festinger coined the term.
While studying a cult that predicted the end of the world, Festinger observed something fascinating. When the apocalypse failed to arrive, the believers didn’t abandon their beliefs. Instead, they doubled down, recruiting new members to ease their discomfort.
Festinger’s core belief was that cognitive dissonance is the psychological tension we feel when there’s an inconsistency in our thoughts. We feel the need to reduce this tension by any means necessary.
The Value of Holding Contradiction
In many Western contexts, we’re taught to think in binaries: right vs. wrong, success vs. failure, confidence vs. doubt. But in dialectical thinking, we can embrace a different view: that two opposing ideas can be true at once.
I can love my job and feel unfulfilled by it.
I can be confident and unsure.
I can be grateful and want more.
Instead of forcing an arbitrary choice between two options…dialectical thinking invites us to ask: What can I learn by acknowledging both can be true?
I’ve learned this mindset can be incredibly powerful, in so many contexts. It invokes a sense of calmness to handle anything life throws at you, while not surrendering your agency. There is a paradoxical ability in being deeply principled and highly adaptable. You can see the world through multiple lenses without getting stuck in one.
Insights from Relevant Schools of Thought
I. Dialectical Thinking
The word “dialectic” comes from the Greek dialektikē, meaning “the art of conversation or debate.” In Western philosophy, dialectics is associated with Socrates and Hegel, who used argument to move closer to the truth. But in East Asian philosophy, especially Taoism and Confucianism, dialectical thinking is less about winning debates and more about embracing opposites.
Taoism’s iconic yin-yang symbol captures this perfectly: light and dark, existing together in balance. In Confucian thought, harmony isn’t about avoiding conflict…it’s about actively balancing competing needs. Modern research backs this up: East Asians, compared to Westerners, are more comfortable accepting contradiction as an ordinary part of life, choosing “both/and” over “either/or.”
II. Negative Capability
The English poet John Keats coined the phrase “negative capability” in 1817. He was fascinated by writers like Shakespeare, who could create worlds and characters full of mystery and contradiction. Keats described negative capability as:
“...when a man is capable of being in uncertainties, Mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason...”
For Keats, this was a kind of creative genius: the ability to stay present with ambiguity and resist the urge to force closure, trusting that something new might emerge from the unknown.
III. Paradox Mindset
The paradox mindset is a newer concept from organizational psychology, advanced by researchers like Wendy K. Smith and Marianne W. Lewis. The term “paradox” itself comes from the Greek paradoxos, meaning “contrary to expectation.” A paradox mindset is more than just tolerating contradiction. It’s about seeing the push and pull between opposites as energy to harness.
Smith and Lewis’s work (Both/And Thinking) shows that leaders who embrace paradox are more creative, adaptable, and successful in navigating complexity.
Finding Strength in the Grey
Next time you encounter a contradiction within yourself, resist the immediate impulse to resolve it. Instead, ask: “What if both things are true? What possibilities does that open up?”
Reflecting on my friend’s situation, this practice could have helped him see his situation differently. Rather than forcing himself into an either/or scenario, he could explore how his skills together made him uniquely valuable.
We live in a world obsessed with certainty, constantly pressured to choose sides. Yet true growth often comes from refusing to quickly resolve contradictions. Instead, embracing the tension can reveal new possibilities, enabling you to discover a third path that merges apparent opposites into something stronger.
Your contradictions aren’t weaknesses. They're opportunities. In a black-and-white world, your greatest hidden strength might be learning to thrive in the grey.